Stop Eating Frogs!!!

Because we're endangering them! At least so says this report!

I had my last Kermit over a year ago, and it was gooooood. Soaked in Chicken Essence and steamed while tied with stripped spring onion. Good times.

That Kermit is quite a looker ain't it?

Ember

"Ember is the colour of your energy." Cheesy? I know. Food? It was actually quite good but for some reason, I wasn't too impressed with it.

The things that I loved about the restaurant:

1. Small restaurant atmosphere
2. Great wine list
3. Friendly service
4. Interesting Menu
5. Good Desserts

Things I didn't like about the restaurant:

1. Food portions were small
2. Friendly but pushy service
3. Menu was too short
4. Not enough specials
5. I could have whatever I had some where else.

Don't get me wrong. I like the place. The problem I had was like a jilted lover, I wanted to love the place but realized that I was too good for the restaurant. Get what I mean? I had a great time at the restaurant even though I went there in a bad mood but something wasn't right. Something in that mediocrity didn't cry out "Come back to the restaurant again!" What it did tell me was "I'm good, and I like where I am."

But don't take my word on this. Go and try it yourself. I would recommend it to most people. But not to myself.

Holy Spirit!!!

Espirito Santo really isn't known for its cooked food. Its normally just a butchery but for some reason, they have added a food service. So out of my innate curiosity to try new things at new places, the wife and I decided to, how you say, try the restaurant/butchery.

I have to say that for a butchery/restaurant, food is quite expensive. My bowl of Brazilian Crab Soup was $15 a bowl, the antipasto platter was $23, and my burger was $25. Considering its right next to the butchery, I thought maybe it might have been cheaper? But it was not.

Another thing that I did notice was that the service was somewhat fast. Not in a good or bad way, but more bad than good and less good than bad; that was amusing to me. The servers really didn't recommend anything that was good, or didn't recommend anything at all, but they were friendly.

And considering we were the only 2 people there, food was somewhat taking a long time to be served. That was odd. My burger tasted like it was marinated in a wine base that I didn't ask for, and the crab soup was decent. The antipasto platter was average and I should pretty much leave it as that.

I might actually come back to the "rest-uchery," because they did sound like they have some pretty cool Brazilian dishes that I want to try. But I believe with all that is in my pinky finger, that you can miss this place out.

P.S. I never figured out what Espirito Santo meant until I looked it up!

All Things Fancy Club : Advice No. 3

So I was having a conversation with my friend Pampadam Pam about going to a restaurant for dinner together with the wife and she vividly hints to me that I have to wear the "proper attire," for the restaurant rather than in my usual "uniform," of my shorts, t-shirt and slippers.

Indignant, I remind my dear friend of close to 17 years (No, not to suck it like what you think I might have said but really did think that phrase.) that movie stars, along with teaching regular people like you and me what to wear, who to listen to and who to vote for, have taught us recently that having a mustache is a totally and absolutely right thing to do. For men I mean. If you're a woman and have a moustache, something is wrong.

Case in point, Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr, Tom Selleck and Wolverine. Because of their mustaches, they are never refused entry into any restaurants. Think about it. Who can refuse such an iconic facial accessory? Are you telling me a maitre d' is going to prevent Wolverine from entering a Morton's Steakhouse because he is in a wife beater and jeans? Never! The "stache," gives you access to ALL places.

As I finally made my point to Pampadam Pam, I would also like to tell every one of my readers of this blog that I will be wearing my slippers, t-shirt and shorts to the restaurant tomorrow. But more importantly, I also will have a moustache.

Thank you very much.

Greed Is Good!

I don't know how they do Christmas in London but Carrie (my London based sister from Sex in the City and relation in real life) isn't feeding my niece ZZ enough food!

Poor girl has to eat off the Christmas tree .... either that or ZZ is mixed up because earlier they were making ginger cookies for Christmas.

Thinking About A Diet.

The Man, the Myth, the Legend! 167 time Olympic Champion, winner of the coveted Oscar award for Best Supporting Actor in a Drama Series, Superbowl MVP, 26 time MLB Golden Glove winner, 1995, 1974, 2008 Daytona champion and Winner of sportsperson resembling most to the monster from the movie 300. My abs hero, MICHAEL PHELPS!

Words cannot express what I think of MP but a diet might be suffice. I have been unwittingly putting on weight nowhere on my body save my "ab-scular," area and I need a solution. I was watching a re run of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. ( Singapore only shows Leno for some reason but no Conan, I love Conan, even Letterman is better than Leno, but Colbert and Stewart are funnier but I digress) It didn't really hit me the first time, but when I saw the re run a second time the next day, I told myself that I needed to go on a diet. A MP diet.

I have to eat this much food a day:

The diet should consists of - Breakfast: three fried-egg sandwiches, with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise, two cups of coffee, an omelette, a bowl of porridge, three slices of French toast and three chocolate chip pancakes. Lunch: a pound of pasta, two ham and cheese sandwiches, with mayonnaise and several bottles of energy drink. Dinner: a pound of pasta, a pizza and several bottles of energy drink.

I am so ready to lose weight! 12,000 calories a day will definitely do the trick!

All The Drinks I've Drunk

I was asked to clear my bottles of wine from under the kitchen sink that I have drunk since July and I was surprised by the number of bottles that I have. 38! (There are actually more but I threw some away or left them at friends' houses)

Since this is the New Year, I would like to thank all my friends who have shared drinks, spend time, listened to my views on why 30 Rock is the best show on television; and more importantly why Anne Hathaway might be the hottest woman on earth and why I will name my child Tiberius (regardless of the sex of my future child), after Captain James Kirk.

To more drinks, time, food and stories shared in 2009.

Non Food Related and REASON WHY I DON"T WATCH LOCAL TV

This nightmare was shown on local television for the New Year's Eve Party.



And they even got the countdown into the New Year wrong.

How sad.

BOTEJYU Okonomiyaki

Botejyu is a new Japanese restaurant at a Japanese Mall called Liang Court in Singapore. I was encouraged by my friend Pampadam Pam to go have a try because its something she had in Osaka and I forgot her birthday and I should buy her lunch.

I ordered fried squid legs ( I love me some squid legs! ),Japanese Fried noodles with pork which tasted like any other fried noodles at any other Japanese restaurant and Pam ordered their speciality which name I cannot remember, I can't even pronounce the name of the restaurant.

Verdict from Pampadam Pam, which we more often or not concur about food, was that it was average. But its still worth a try. Think of it like home made hashbrowns with some vegetables and onions fried in it, topped with bonito shavings, an egg and a side of terriyaki sauce. Sounds weird, but apparently when done right, its heaven.

Can't pronounce the name. But definitely worth a try - something different from the typical Japanese fare in other restaurants.

Beautiful Food!

Barossa situated at the Esplanade might scream out to many of my readers as "TOURIST TRAP!" Or "Isn't Barossa in Australia?" And "Eeek!" (Include your own fake noises.)

It is my duty in my job to look busy, so often what I do is go for "meetings," and talk about work and I like to do that over a meal because I want to be critiqued on my non verbal communication during meeting skills. So my critic decided to go to the Esplanade, much to my chagrin and regret, I gave in.

I am sorry readers. I caved. I was astounded by the lunch menu because only a set lunch was available, and the other dishes sounded suspiciously bad. I wanted a theme for the meal and I decided on fish.(This reminds me of the time that I had a soup theme during a dinner with the wife and all I ordered was the soup of the day and the bouillabaisse, but that's another review all together!) I ordered a smoke salmon salad with rocket leaves and grapefruit, fish and chips and a surprise dessert.

The food took a long time to come out and my coke was beginning to taste extremely flat and Pepsi like. I gobbled up the salad (before I remembered I had to take a picture), and when the fish and chips finally swam to my table. I was aghast. Such beauty! On my favorite platter! A wooden plank. So rustic! So, how you say, western?!?

Flat. Fish and Chips were flat.

And my surprise dessert? A freaking huge baked Alaska. Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't know you could see Australia from Alaska but somebody was playing a joke on me. There were 2 of us and only 1 dessert came. What if I didn't really like the person I was having lunch with? Would I really want to share a dessert together with that person? Thank goodness, the Baked Alaska had too much whipped cream for my liking and the ice cream could not be found. I dug furiously but only found a bridge to nowhere.

The food was beautiful. Pity the taste.

A Week Of Retractions

In the spirit of Christmas, I have decided to come up with the most forgiving and gracious reviews for the year.

I have in recent times opined about the wonder that is Canele, and how consistent their food has been and Sing Hai chicken rice that has always been a comfort for me. I always try to go to the restaurants more than twice before I write an improper review, so this week, I have decided to retract on 2 positive reviews for this 2 restaurants.

Canele served me burnt bread for my sandwiches and did I also mention that they forgot about my sandwich order after I told my server what I wanted? And in typical Singapore fashion, they ask me if I still want my sandwich because they are in the midst of making it (like 20 mins after I ordered), so I thought the sandwich had to crazy delicious since it took 25 mins to make, but it was not. It was burnt. No apologies were made. No discounts were given. And the minestrone soup tasted like colored water, vegetables and pepper. Lots of pepper.

Sing Hai chicken rice on the other hand was different. Service was better than Canele but the food standard dropped. Ever figure that whenever you order half a chicken, you're actually given less than what you ordered? I don't mind restaurants diversifying in putting other dishes in the menu but the very second you start putting in something really obtuse in your menu arsenal, I think it just shows that they've lost the plot. To serve nasi padang in a chicken rice store. Really?

But since this is Christmas, I want to end the review on a good note.

Eat Chicken Rice, Order a Sandwich, and Drink Minestrone soup.

But not at Sing Hai and Canele.

And since this is the festive period, let me give you one more non food advice for free.

Don't watch the movie AUSTRALIA.

A Beautiful French Mistress

There I was, walking, minding my own business and at the corner of my eye, I saw this beauty. I didn't know what to say. Shy and unassuming, and a long name that didn't rhyme. No matter what I thought. My friends have been telling me about those Australian and Chilean beauties but I continually choose to ignore them. Deep in the recesses of my wondering mind, I knew that going the French way was the best. I might have been endangering myself but again, I had to reassure myself, and I finally came to a conclusion ...

The 2nd wine by Chateau Lagrange is a bargain. At $42 SGD (even cheaper in the US, like $20 USD )and on sale at Cold Storage, it was waiting to be drunk. Problem with most French wines is that they age better than most, so drinking a 2004 in 2008 wasn't exactly ideal. You still need about 5 years to mature. But the drink is still very French. A slight spice note on the tongue, a beautiful fragrance of blackberry and chocolate and a velvety top end with a medium finish. The wine isn't as complex as what most aficionados might like but still worth a punt. I kept it for 3 days and as the tannins wore off, the taste and flavor of the wine was still there, it became smoother and easier to drink. More fruity characteristics were prevalent as it wore on.

Before I forget, nobody grows bushes like the French. Wine Bushes that is.

Me no Bob Parker.

My Niece Turns 2.

Blocked by a beauty of a cake that my sister ( I shall call her Carrie from Sex in the City ) baked, my niece reluctantly turns 2.

Wait till I tell her about the politicking among the 3 year olds!

Happy Birth-mas Z!

Moscato Battle Royale

I drink Moscato because I love my wife. I love my wife because I think she smells of honey and she tastes sugar sweet, like the Moscato that she loves to drink.

Call me an Alchie but ever since I decided to collect wine after my Bali holiday in May, I have been drinking many a bottle. The great thing about Moscatos is that they're cheap. All the bottles shown are less than $35 and are readily available in the grocery store. They don't taste of too much alcohol, in fact, these wines have unusually lower alcohol levels and they're sweet. As some of you already know, my wife has a sweet tooth, correction, a sweet lower jaw, and we can go through bottles of this without being filled in the spirit. The funny thing is that Moscatos are usually slightly carbonated. And my wife hardly drinks anything carbonated.

So for the young lovers, this is the drink to drink. Not too drunk to not know whats going on and classy and mature enough that you're drinking wine.

But which one to drink? I reckon the best value is the Long Flat Moscato. Its only $19 on sale in any grocery store, carbonation level isn't high and its not too sweet that it tastes like a dessert wine.

The moscato with the worst name is Brown Brothers.

If you really want to impress your girlfriend or wife, buy the Italian Moscato d' Asti. More carbonation in its liquid, and usually less sweet than most other moscatos.

Hand picked was purchased because I thought Saruman from Lord Of The Rings owned the vineyard.

I am no Robert Parker.

Not All Wines Are Created The Same

A childhood friend of mine introduced me to the great Australian Shiraz. He collects nothing but Australian Shiraz, I shall call him AS? No. I won't. I shall call him DONG. Tasty Bits helped introducing me to the Elderton label and I have to admit, like sex, once you drank it, you'll always think of it.

And so there I was at Cold Storage, at the wine section again and thinking to myself, what can go wrong with a $24 bottle worth of unwooded Chardonnay? Everything.

Robert Parker rates this wine as if the devil ate asparagus and peed it out on God's green earth and man somehow made it into a drink. This would be what I would think of this wine and thank goodness Robert Parker never said what I thought he would say.

I bought this wine based on my familiarity with the label. I tried all their Shiraz and they all tasted great, so the Chardonnay can't go that wrong right?

Stay Clear.

I am no Robert Parker.

The Eye Still Has It

So the eye still has it.

I read wine magazines the way a teenage boy reads a porn magazine. I study carefully what the editor says and I just see the magazine for the pictures and scores i.e. vital statistics?

Unknown to myself, I bought this wine a couple of months back and recently it was Tasty Bits (I MISS YOU!) wife's birthday and the dad had enough sense to buy his daughter in law this fantastic bottle of wine.

Decanter rates it as a 5 star purchase, Robert Parker rates it at almost 98 -99. So I was expecting the shit. And it delivered. It was, how you say, more than meets the eye?

So for your eye only, this purple hued liquid was consumed in an hour. Not good I reckon. It should have been decanted for at least an hour. The finish is long, tannins are smooth and its sweet, and the longer it sat out, the better it tasted. I still think that this wine can sit for a few more years and you better drink it because it might become an eye sore.

I am not Robert Parker.

Pilgrimage

In my every one-twelfth yearly visit to all that is good and holy of a wine store, I often love myself a lovely French red, most preferably from Bordeaux, but admittedly, my tastes for wine is rather cheap, and to quote Earl Spencer, brother of the late Princess Diana, " I have an unsophisticated palate."

So begins my obsession with looking for the cheap deals. Good Sauvignon Blancs from the New world. Montes 2007 Reserve Special is from Chile. The taste with my pasta was decent.

I look for fruitiness and a slight sweet edge with smooth tannins. What I got was a rather lemon citrus finish with smells of grass and what I reckon to be tainted gooseberry (like most Sauvignon Blancs) edges.

For $30. It was worth a try but I'll probably try something else the next time.

I am not Robert Parker.

Crystal Jade Palace Restaurant Takashimaya

Tim Sum, originally from China, then improved by other Chinese especially the Cantonese and now its everywhere. Nearly everywhere. One such everywhere is Takashimaya. And more specifically, Crystal Jade Palace restaurant.

Service was excellent. Food was average. The picture taken should have been 1 complete table with all the dishes ordered BUT we were too hungry and I had been plagued by a case of bad taxi drivers who don't know how to get to my destinations - I was in a bad mood.

I had been here several times before but they were just for lunch meetings. So this time, as a lunch outing with my wife I have to say that the food isn't as good as it is during the weekday. Maybe because I'm not concentrating on the food during office hours but I was disappointed.

What really blew me away was that we ordered glutinous rice wrapped in banana leaf, and that took forever because we were informed that the item was frozen and needed a longer time to thaw and steam. I don't want to knit pick but I think this about sums up what I think about the place.

Seriously average.

Give me my long lines and bad service at Yan Palace any day.

Devil's Food

So the Mrs and I were walking along the Orchard MRT station and we stumbled on this piece of work.

I think the devil serves this in hell.

Reading it makes me want to puke.

Trust me, the picture doesn't give the pizza any justice. It is that bad. And I feel sorry for the dough and the people who will have to pay the extra $25 - $50 in medical bills.

Baby, the Other White Meat

In my efforts to learn more about the human body and how hairs grow in strange parts of the human anatomy, I decided to ask the Gohs out for dinner. They normally know more about topics like this than I do so I thought we should dine together so that their intelligence can be permeated to me during our meal. The venue where the permeation would take place was the Sunset Bar & Grill.

The destination was tough enough to get there in the dark, but we managed to scramble through the weeds and bushes and landed in an area that some believe to be non-existent in Singapore. A piece of land with no nearby concrete housing estate, and no bourgeois smell of affluence.

I can tell that times are bad when baby is on the menu. I mean our dear government is already handing out money to tell us to have babies, but having babies on the menu, even for my low moral standards might be taking it alittle too far.

The general consensus was that the food( the wings we ordered were level 1 hotness, but it was still wings, my sirloin steak had too much fat even though fat is a good thing on beef, the BLT the wife ordered looked like a BLT, chili con carne was average and the BBQ meat combination was bbq!?! )here was average. I don't know what the hopping and hollering about this place was all about but you feel like in the 70s, which might be a drugged up and nostalgic thing, but like the Italian food I suggested in the earlier posts, sometimes Singaporeans don't know what good American food is.

In the picture taken above, Man-Goh was pictured examining the baby to see if it was worth a meal ....... you know like how we pick crabs out at seafood restaurants?

But alas, it was a dream! All a dream. The bad food was the bowels talking. The baby is safe. Nobody ate the baby and the restaurant never served baby. Thank goodness! But I have to admit that it sure was tempting though. Soft skin, fatty legs, juicy arms...

Baby - Good.

Food - Bad.